#29

When i was small, my ambition was to be a gynaecologist because i love babies! Padahal gynae is not always about handling babies anyway. Back then when you were quite young and you are still learning about life. That explains the mentality i guess. 

I am from a neighbourhood school. Back then during my time, there used to be EM1/EM2/EM3 and my parents decide to choose EM1 since i was eligible for either 1 or 2 back then. Taking higher malay during primary school was a disaster. Keeping up with Mathematics was a disaster too. So once i reached primary 6, i went down to EM2 stream. My schoolmates laughed at me and made fun of me. Some actually appeared nice infront of you but behind you, they speak 101 ill things. Moving on, i made it to express stream and aimed to go to a secondary school far from home to begin a new social circle. 

I made new friends and begin new life. Secondary school life was better. When it came to choosing of which subjects to take for GCE ‘O’s, it was my dad that decide. I ended up in triple science stream. Many people will go ‘wow, you’re smart’ but let me tell you, i am not because i am always second in class from the bottom. Get it? Get it? Especially in my Emaths and Amaths. My maths teacher will always scold me because i talked too much in class. Why? Because i am bubbly back then. One day, my teacher told me to drop my Amaths because i have always been failing and i am pulling the school reputation down. I refused to drop the subject and carry on but honestly, i gave up on Amaths. So i just took my O’s for the fun of it, i got a D7 after getting single digit mark throughout all my school test. The only school performance that i am good at was my CCA. I was from St John. I love going to CCA. It taught me many things from discipline to perseverance. I learned life saving skills and from there i know i want to be in healthcare line and be a nurse. Because it all started with a passion. My friends and teachers know i want to be a nurse. Some do pass remarks like you don’t have to score well for Os to get into Nursing. So i was somehow being looked down at but heck, i don’t bother. Prelim pointers doesnt even allow me to go anywhere, no hope but my O’s pointers allowed me to get to either JC/Polytechnic. I got my first choice, Nursing! 

Polytechnic phase start. I have few secondary school friends in same course as me. People comment why you take this course when you can go other courses, you’re stupid to be doing this. I ignored. I made friends and study through the years. Polytechnic phase got better than secondary school. For once, i performed in school. I made my parents and grandparents proud. 

Graduated and started my first full time career. Being the eldest, my parents pushed me. So of course, they asked me to further my study. I refused because i had my own plan. But it lead to my parents being unhappy, i finally agreed but on a condition, i am not going to further my study in NUS nursing because i have my own reasons. So i took under SIT-UOM. A newly build-up school organization. Something new and unrecognised. Managed to secure a place after interview and informed my senior supervisor but ended up getting being looked down at. Reason, i have zero experience in clinical ground so what makes me think i can perform theoretically for my assignments. That few months before school officially start, i received many setbacks. Cry buckets because i was torn between parents and supervisor. Satu cakap pergi, lagi satu cakap tak boleh. But i proceeded finally after huge setbacks. With my supervisor looking down at me, since the person said i can’t perform, i was determine to perform well. 

Degree phase started and i swear i don’t like my degree days. My classmates were so competitive and lokek ilmu. I can only find a handful that are willing to help you sincerely. Ada pernah tolong abeh ungkit balik. Prrft! Baik jangan tolong. My english is my weakness. Grammar, vocab semua hancur berderai. Thankfully, we don’t have bell curve in our school system (one reason why i put the condition) so i just pushed myself through. Met beautiful people and at an unexpected age, i graduated with a certificate that i never see myself to have. 

By the time i resume work again, i was the first among my friends to complete my school and start my career. Some of my old friends from primary-secondary-polytechnic phase eventually get to know my achievements and started to ask 101 questions because they find it unbelieveable for someone like me who was at the bottom before to be where i am now.

Those life lessons taught me that you will never be at the bottom always. You just need to know your strength and weakness. Use it to push yourself in life. Those people who looked down on you are people who have too many spare time. Biar orang buat kita, jangan kita buat orang. Akhirnya, dengan kata-kata mereka yang pandang rendah kat aku, aku yang berjaya walaupun sekolah tak adalah prestigious sangat pun. You may have high IQ, but if you have low EQ, you can never go far too. That leads me to this…

As much as i started my career with a passion, i lose it along the way because of the people around it and the welfare. We have many high IQs healthcare professional in the line but i have come across those that do not even have any empathy at all towards us, the staffs and the clients. Our profession is full of humanity but heck, i don’t know where they put our welfare seriously. People compare where you graduate from, what are your status etc. I have seen how some dr can’t even do simple things (like talking politely or worse, never say excuse me but use a pen to push my friend aside just so he can have a space to walk, so rude) even when they are taking the most highly respectable course.

So if you ask me, will i choose nursing again if i have a choice? No, i wont. But then again, i am thankful i am equipped with certain knowledge and skills that are helpful for my personal use. Plus, dah tercatit rezekiku ialah sebagai seorang jururawat. At this young age, to achieve all that and see the meaning of life in different forms are blessings too. So i shouldn’t complain but be thankful. Because maybe someone out there was hoping to be a nurse but couldn’t even afford to attend school. We will never know. 

Lastly, i hope people will stop comparing results and schools because you may have high grades and good qualification but you can’t perform well in life with others at work. Because i have feel it myself and heard it from other people too. A nursing ITE girl told me she love nursing, but she wasn’t smart enough to enter polytechnic so she took the longer route. Her GPA was damn good okay but people around her demoralise her down. So people should really just stop comparing. Nursing may be the last resort but not everyone can be a nurse. Its more than just cleaning ass or shower. We become your love ones advocate when drs are doing something that is not in your love ones wish. We are there around the clock as compared to drs. So if you complained there isn’t much nurses here locally, why not you ask how the society view us in the first place?

We are still as human as you. We have a brain and a heart too. Just that other non-nursing personnels were gifted with extra IQ to perform. Without us, you won’t have a complete healthcare system either. Just remember, the grades/certificate/status you have won’t be brought to grave when you die. Eventually, the grave of a high IQ will be the same like a low IQ person. 

I don’t know what i actually want to say as a blog takeaway message but i just wish humans to be kinder with each other because we are seriously on the same level undergoing a life cycle which the same end goal is death (sound so pessmistic eh but correct what right? Its the reality) So why be evil when we should do good right? 

**if anybody got hurt in the process, or feel affected, i hope you will be kinder to the next human you speak to okay? Hehe. Anway, its my blog space…

Lots of love,

Cranky post-pm shift lady

#30

30 days to being a Mrs and i am very much blessed that i met this amazing man who soon, i will call my husband. I will never forget how you decide to take off your earpiece and said the first HI at the bus-stop. The random FB message asking for advice on your swollen pinky and how you said, ‘isn’t it better if you are a doctor and not a nurse’ (i did dream of becoming a doctor but damn, i never regret not being to achieve it after seeing their work routines even if their pay and status is well respected. But now, menyampah lah pula kerja as nurse, hahah) 

You were the only one that was not afraid to meet my parents and happily enter the house when my dad invited you in. You accompanied me day and night at hospital whenever you are free. There are so many other reasons. We just became close but you were willing to go that extra mile to see a smile on my face. 

If Allah swt permits, i would love to share our love story to our children and grandchildren. If ever Allah swt allows me to feel motherhood, i will be excited to show who is their father who managed to soften their mother’s heart. 

Indeed, jodoh itu rahsia. Kau tak lawa macam mana pun, kalau Allah swt dah tentukan jodoh kau, in shaa Allah, jodohmu akan datang pada masa yang tepat. Because i believe i am an ugly lady who don’t deserve to be love after all the harsh words people commented on my outer apperance but Allah swt thinks otherwise. So ultimately, Allah swt has created me perfectly for only certain people to admire and appreciate me beautifully. 

So dear ladies, never give up because we still have Allah swt love. 

Progress at 31 days…

Its been so long since i update this space. Even when i am on training leave for few weeks, i still fail to update this space and get over my checklist. 31 days more to being Mrs and i have not even met my caterer to finalise menu and make any deposit, set a final appointment with decor & dais and book a videographer since my Uncle may not be able to be our videographer due to last-minute work commitments. However, i am still a happy lady here with her adult duties. Work work work. It’s all about wedding talk whenever the adults and grand-adults sees me. I don’t know who is more excited about the wedding now. Plus, my mindset is that i need to focus on work now no matter what because that’s important and i don’t want to get into the lepak mode (yet) which eventually lead me to underperform instead. I don’t wish to update anymore things about wedding preparations (after this post, if possible) because i believe i am left with the final errands and confirmation for the whole events to run smoothly, in shaa Allah. As much as i am still as chill as ever, worry will never be a question. I do worry if the whole event will fall into place and run smoothly but for now, i shall do my best in this final phase of preparation, du’a and then, tawakal.

Ever since Mr start his busy period of 13 working days routine, i miss him extremely more because we don’t have proper conversation with each other. No proper good morning or goodnight texts because we both will be drained out after work especially for him. I started having bad dreams too which is so funny but it lasted for two days and it didn’t happen anymore after i finally able to have him as my view. Even Mr is not keeping up with his wedding preparation because of work commitments, leaving to either his mother or elder sister or myself. But at the end of the day, we are looking forward to our solemnization and counting down to it together! We may have tough times now but i believe it is the last phase of the engagement obstacles for us to go through together. Tough situation won’t last but tough people do! So fighting!

From tomorrow onwards, Mr and myself will be entering the last 30 days phase already. I know time will fly fast although i feel it is still slow. I guess it’s the waiting game that is the major challenge for humans like us who have heart and brain to think and feel. So i plan to at least update daily in this space (if i can and not lazy) on gratitude or whatever that is not too wedding related. So let see if i will keep to my own plan.

So at this 31 days mark, this is how Ms SR is performing so far…

  • Final bridal fitting scheduled on 8.3.17 (left with the final 30% payment)
  • To schedule decor & dais appointment around end of February
  • Catering appointment is finally schedule on this Saturday (50% deposit to be done)
  • To finalise 10.3.17 and 11.3.17 itinerary
  • To mail finalise itinerary to all the necessary people (bridal/photographer etc)
  • To make final 50% payment to Cakevow by 4.3.17
  • Print & laminate direction poster
  • Wrap the money-box
  • Book Videographer
  • Book Ice-cream
  • Finalise sound system (music list and equipments required)
  • To meet up with my girlfriend for discussion and briefing
  • Finalise relative respective job-scope/decor & dais layout/solemnization layout
  • Bridal room set up to start on 8.3.17 or 9.3.17
  • Simple henna for self on 9.3.17 and touch-up on 10.3.17
  • Final errands at daiso/jurong area to get potpourri on 8.3.17 or 9.3.17
  • To pack potpourri (as bunga rampai) on 9.3.17 or 10.3.17
  • To prepare all the final payment to the respective vendors a week before 11.3.17
  • Book staycation**

and i believe the list will adds on its own without me realising.

**I am supposed to book staycation for Mr and myself before he resume work on the Monday but i have been procrastinating big time. Reason is i scared his schedule will change again last-minute and the money will get burnt, not worth it at all.

I am planning to have a short trip with the future husband to somewhere near in early May in hope of collating the PHs and day offs together since he deserve a short vacation after a busy period at work for few months. I have already did my own search on the hotel and flight tickets. So it’s a good to go kind of thing but for now, i can’t proceed with the booking as long as we are not confirmed with the roster. Sucky to be working shifts.

My parents and grandparents have already started giving out their cards last week and i have yet to even give out my cards till finish. Why? Because i shy to give out early and i planned to give end of February instead. But of course, it failed since my friends have been demanding the card like nobody business, so i start giving out the cards on and off whenever i can. Plus, mostly are from the ward. My social circle is pretty small so it was relatively easy to handle. I rather have the close to my heart near me on my big day because they know me better and was genuinely there from me right from the start through thick and thin.

So in short, i am nearing the finishing line yet not there yet. I told my girlfriend that the last 30 days i just want to be a happy self and i want to think happy thoughts because i should appreciate this phase before i enter the new phase. Plus, i don’t want to let myself involve in negative thoughts and emotions before a very happy event.

I can no longer continue this post because Mr is trying to psycho me to allow him to change into a new nicer bike few years down the road…

Lots of love,

Ms SR

Forever lah dengan Wedding updates but till March, promise!

So two days back, we met with our Bridal and Cake personnel. Smooth process and we are just going to stay positive that everything will go smoothly on the actual day.

Bridal

Thankfully the location was walking distance from the train station and we managed to reach earlier than expected because my Encik took a long time to get ready and his niece wanted to go playground so i brought her out to play while her uncle get ready. I was on my sleeping day after my last night but managed to survive the whole day running errands.

We both are too simple and we don’t know what to expect so we came with nothing in mind. So when it came to choosing the outfits, we were that lost until the person got to help us kickstart. Then finally, the kakak said, ‘oh look who is talking finally!’ because i finally had some ideas in mind on what i actually want. The solemnization outfit was easier to choose than the second outfit. The reception outfit, initially we wanted to wear suit and gown but to think through again with the advices given by the Kakak, we went for songket outfit which is really not me. But it is their 2017 latest outfit collection, so i will be their first model. Mr didn’t chose anything because whatever he wear will depends on my outfit. All he want was for me to choose what i really want so that i will be a happy bride and wife of his on that day. We nearly wanted to upgrade to 3 outfits because i really love the gown but after much consideration, its not worth the upgrade since there isn’t much time for another outfit change. However, Encik suggested post-wedding photoshoot for me so that i can wear all those gown that i actually want. That suggestion made me excited but when i see the digits, it made me consider instead because girls being girls, we want everything at the first sight but after long consideration, sometimes it may not be something we truly want. I shall see what the future holds for me.

I just hope the outfits will turn out prettier than expected and of course, i hope it will make Mr cair or maybe cried in happiness instead upon seeing how pretty i can actually be behind my messed up state. Moreover, we will be coming for our final fitting separately because of his work routine. So he won’t be able to see how i will look in it either!

Wedding Cake

I met Zuran from CakeVow who is my cousin’s close friend and someone i know too since we did went to same religious classes before in the past. Initially, i wanted buttercream cake since my mother preferred that but after knowing that the cake will only be delivered 30 minutes before the cake-cutting and i scared it may cause havoc, i changed to fondant cake instead. I chose one flavour and the other tier flavour was chose by Mr since there will be cake cutting session at my side only. I intend to share it with my family and his. With his wedding reception just next block, i will make someone send half of the cake to his side for them to eat. Jadi tak membazir! Moreover, she asked to assign someone who she can contact for the set-up and also, to ensure that the cake will be distributed. So i chose my cousin! It will be easier since they are friends to begin with. I am so excited to see the final cake design and to eat it too.

However, we will be doing cake-cutting in our songket outfit. Weird but janji aku pakai baju sudah. Mulut orang tak boleh tutup kalau diaorang memang nak comment macam-macam. So why should you even bother to spend so much just to meet to other people expectation but end up biting your own nails or worse, end up in debts with your partner with no emergency funds plus savings after wedding. I have received so many negative feedbacks or reaction regarding my wedding plan since i did not do the typical way. It hurts initially but after some time, i can’t be bothered to think about it anymore because its just human being human. Wait till its their turn to marry and think about the digits instead. Janji aku kahwin dengan mamat yang aku sayang and nobody else. If not for my parents who want a wedding reception, it may originally be just soleminization and small makan gathering at restaurant after that.

So i am left to meet my Decor personnel and Nek Bedah for the catering session, probably in February. I shall go back to my checklist and see what i need to strike off.

With February coming anytime soon and Mr will be starting his most busy period till April. I don’t know how he is going to endure his 13 days work and 1 day off for almost 2 months. I am worried for him but yet i know duty calls. Its just part of his responsibilities in this life. I hope his body and mind will work well with him especially when there are too many hazards for him at work. The only motivation for him through that period is to see March coming and to make me his wife. Once the busy period end, i am looking forward to travel with him during our annual leave. We have not come out with a concrete travel plan yet but i am contemplating on bring him to Bangkok for short shopping trip before the fasting month since my next leave after the marriage leave will be in June (fasting) and July (festive season) which are not appropriate for travelling. So to wait till September is really far within my reach so i am considering short travel plan to somewhere near. Either Bangkok/Batam, Montigo Resort. To travel is fun and exciting but to plan is such a chore. Inilah kalau dah pemalas sangat.

We managed to pop by our future home and we can see how it has been nicely painted. I still can’t get over the fact the kitchen is that small but i shall not doubt that i can make my dream kitchen come true with patience and perseverance. Just got to find out the right IDs and ideas to work with. I can’t wait for everything yet i know i will miss this freedom of mine. Then again, this is the life cycle that everyone will go through eventually but differently.

Till next update…

Lots of love,

Ms SR

Thoughts & Emotions 

I have been coming across too many posts of people losing their partner few months after their wedding bells. To see them trying to pull through each day with so much strength by holding on to the hope of reuniting with their other half in Jannah just breaks my heart more. I cried badly reading their posts especially when this dear self came across this post whereby her late husband pass has the same working pass as Mr Fiance. I kept breaking down all alone because of that. The thought of losing my other half is just beyond words. Yes, i have ego and i always tell myself that this world is a temporary place. Therefore, i should not get attached to things or people too easily. But who am i even kidding? I am very much attached to my Fiance even when i deny it every single time. Too egoistic girl, you should seriously tone down. Knowing how vulnerable i am these days, Mr Fiance have always been here by my side through any means that he can. Even if it means accompanying me through the phone crying till i fall asleep. 

As the big day draws nearer, i can’t stop worrying about Mr and i can’t stop breaking down on the thought on how am i going to be strong if he ever leave me alone to go through each day with just the memories that we build. It all starts with news of friends breaking engagement and  then, stories or post of people losing their partners. I got affected real bad because i know my weakness. My weakness is when i love someone, i start to love hard and when they are gone, i feel a part of me gone with them. Its wrong for me to be like that but its just how i react as a human. 

Times like this, i do hope i will be the one leaving first before him. But at the same time, i couldn’t bear the thoughts of seeing him all alone and in sadness without me by his side like how i have always been there for him to make his day from blue to sunny. 

Whatever it is, this is reality of life. I pray that whatever tests or obstacles that Allah swt is going to let me through in the future, i am all ready for it. I am going to appreciate my Fiance even more. Because all these are bound to be a lesson for me. As much as we are very happy and in love, i know i can make him even happier than now, fill with love and laughter. 

I guess its just the time of the month with the hormones and wrecking emotions. 

May Allah swt protect my Fiance like how i always pray Allah swt will protect my other love ones.

2017! 

The year of 2017 is here and of course all the 2017 BTBs are excited. It’s the year we are going to change our marital status, marry to the love of our life and not to forget, addition of responsibilities and new commitments.

Spent my long weekend before the new year with my family members and my Encik! We also attended our first wedding of the year together and it was the first wedding we managed to go together after many failed attempts because of our shift routine. Spending almost 3 days with him makes me have difficulty to be apart from him when its time for us to work.

So with the date drawing nearer and nearer, its time to get down to real business. So i believed this time its the real deal of doing proper wedding preparations uhh?! Our mothers met another time over the long weekend to finalise certain things, so i guess all is well now.

So on the 5th January, we finally managed to settle the declaration and verification of documents at ROMM with my father. We arrived at around 230pm and everything ended about 315pm or so. So the first call-out of queue number was meant for the couple to verify the online registration documents. The first time our number was called out, my dad went over so fast and wanted to sit but got shoo away by the lady at the counter and he started making jokes and i laughed with the lady. Encikku managed to video the whole process with his new gopro5 which he recently bought for our usage in the future, hehe. Then we head out and waited for the room to call our number out. My dad went in and came out with a small piece of paper on how to marry her daughter off in the simplest sentence ever. Then it was us. It was an Ustaz and we wanted to sit but he asked us to change seat to ease the signing process. Our butt was halfway in the process of sitting down.

He verify our marital status, dowry and everything on the document. Then finally, he asked ‘apakah perasaan awak dengan tarikh nikah yang bakal tiba tak lama lagi?’ and he directed to Encik Tunang first then subsequently me. He is observing us and also through the question, he is actually trying to find out what kind of person we are and whether we are ready for marriage. That’s what i feel because i can see his reaction change based on whatever word and terms or explanation that Encik Tunang said. Then when its my turn, i answered i am scared. Hahaha. Honestly, i am bad with adapting and i need time to adjust. So adjusting to new roles and commitments are my fear. I will eventually get used and get the hang of it but i require time. I don’t know this time how because i will have support of a husband and we will also be guiding each other. So maybe it differs from adapting all alone to new changes that nobody else will be doing together with you? Then next question was ‘have you attended any religious class and till which level and at where?’ So we answered individually but Mr Fiance added on we studied at the same mosque, Ustaz boleh eh sakat, ‘Jadi awak ikut dia ke dia ikut awak?’ and we laughed. Then subsequently asked if we still carry on attending classes and asked if we attend marriage course. We were giving feedback about it but Ustaz said that sometimes it depends on who is the trainer that is delivering it plus marriage is a long process but the course is just a two days thing, so its hard to discuss about everything. I realised that’s the common question they asked like marital status, religious class and marriage course based on asking all my married friends that went for interview. They are cases whereby my friends got asked if they perform their prayers etc, so i believe it all depends on the person interviewing you and how you answer your first initial question?

Alhamdulillah, the important thing is done. We managed to take pictures and record video. Mr Fiance did a short video in regards to the ROMM day. Now looking forward to the big day already! 

So i am left with the following, i think.

Appointments with Vendors

1. Bridal Fitting (18/1/17)

2. Cakevow (19/1/17)

3. Photographer (no appointment, i am just going to send the itinerary instead by mid February because i am that lazy to meet also)

4. Dais & Decor (i shall set it in early February for site visiting and finalise the decor)

5. Catering (still pending appointment because need to wait for card to be given out first prior to meeting Nek Bedah and pay the first initial deposit)

To Finalise

1. Sound System & Music List (my mother updated me that Uncle’s loud-speaker can be used, so we are all good. Microphone will be rented from her work place with the speaker. So left to settle music list)

2. My guest list (in need to finalise the friends and colleague list then find out their address for those that need to be posted out)

3. Finalise itinerary (1oth & 11th March inclusive of dry & wet weather plan since we have outdoor shoot) and floor plan for placement of dais, buffet, ice-cream, tables and chairs

4. Finalise job-scope for my family members inclusive of close aunties, uncles and cousins

4. Print and laminate direction poster (DIY!)

5. Wrap money-box

6. Meet up with the Groomsmen & my Bridesmaid

7. Decorating of Bridal Room (drilling to hang the backdrop is up. Sewing of the backdrop and curtains to be done latest by mid February. Planning to set up the whole bridal room on 8th/9th of March, few days before the big day since i carry forward my CNY PH)

8. For Mr to call Ustaz again a week before the big day to finalise the venue and time. Plus, to ask if he is coming via own transport or taxi and to settle a pick-up point for him so that one of his groomsmen and whoever else can pick him up to usher him to the solemnization place

To Buy/Source-out

1. Flowers for decoration of the bridal room

2. Bridal shoe with strap, silver colour (still considering since i have a pair already)

3. Bunga rampai (future MIL gave suggestion to my mother to just go Daiso, get this scented dry flowers or whatever is the word which i totally forgot. Initial plan was to use pandan leaves and cut it but the Daiso idea is way faster and easier. So going to buy it a week plus before wedding date)

4. Stamps for invitation card postage

5. Book ice-cream vendor (my mother need to tell me how because she has been doing so many times for her workplace event)

6. White translucent/Grey Translucent cloth (for my make-up table and side drawers top. I shall source it out when i head Geylang for bridal fitting)

7. Videographer (my Uncle from KL may not be able to take leave so, as back-up plan i already asked my cousin if he could take over his place. My aunt and him suggested his friend but his friend is so scared to help out since no prior experience. I just want the akad nikah to be video at least. I don’t have any videographer booked because Mr was not keen for it and i was 50-50 for it since our reception is not even a complete kind. So i shall keep praying that my cousin friend agree because honestly, i like his own video work also since i am easily pleased with simple things)

So i believed now and till mid or end of February will all be about wedding preparations. Plus my mid January to mid February, i will be away for training leave often and subsequently few days attachment. So office hours for few days will help with all those preparations maybe? I just hope i can get all the major things done by early to mid February. Then the small things during the last one month to the big day. I guess i need to start giving out my cards end of January to early February to my friends when i have the time and mail it out too. The family cards, i shall leave to the parents, grandparents and aunty to do so. I still that lazy to kick-start it but ini benda dah tak boleh delay lagi sey unless aku nak kahwin cowboy instead.

62 days more to the big day. As scared as i am, the excitement is slowly building up although it dies off when i think about work. How i wish i can take no pay leave and enjoy my single days until the big day. With the future husband starting work on the Monday after the big day, we are not heading for honeymoon. Thankfully, lesser stress for the whole wedding preparation but we are planning for a 2D1N staycation before he start his first night shift on Monday and a week of leave for me to really be a full-time housewife (which i really prefer to do than working and nursing those unreasonable people. I serve my husband lagi afdhal even if there is no pay to it. The satisfaction and rewards are greater, in shaa Allah)

May all the 2017 BTBs have a smooth wedding preparation till their big day and for those coming soon, we shall usaha, berdu’a and tawakkal that all will be smooth and great!

Lots of love,

Ms SR, soon-to-be Mrs SB! hehehe

 

Henna

I have been contemplating on getting a bridal henna package for myself because of few reasons. I did wish to have one but i am someone who can’t see her hands having henna design on it after a day. Yes, i do love henna and i love seeing my hands getting some henna drawings but it last for a day only. I will get annoyed on how my hands look after that. The only thing i can bear seeing for a long time is my henna nails. I find it prettier that way. But if its on the leg, i find its totally okay for henna drawings. So weird right?

Side track, I can’t even see myself wearing jewellery either. The only thing that last on my hand is my engagement ring but i remembered how my engagement ring drop on the floor at my work locker room. Then i misplaced my engagement ring thinking it slipped out because that period, my ring was already loose. Few months after engagement, i stop wearing my engagement ring due to fear of losing it. I have this habit of taking off rings too, so that explains all the incidents. Of course, if i am out, i will try to wear it but next thing, i forget. Am i even a girl seriously?

I remembered getting my hand drawn on and getting excited about it. Next day, i got pissed off for making the decision to let it having henna drawings and was that impatient to see it gone. Girlfriend find me weird but the true fact about myself. Being a weird lady and not appreciating henna well will eventually make me find it costly to have a henna package for myself because i could save that few hundreds for something else. I had disagreements with my mother over henna because this BTB refused to wear henna at all in the first place. She told me off and said, ‘kau tak nak pakai inai, lebih baik jangan kahwin. Tak ada seri pengantin‘ When i heard that… pantang nenek moyang weii. I just don’t get it when people expect me to follow certain things because we humans differ in every aspect. Of course, i end up debating with her but eventually gave in and agreed to only capping of the nails. Next to why i don’t really prefer it was due to the colour of the henna. It appear to be very dark and not bright orange as the old days. I love how the old times, the colour is bright orange. So of course, i went to search around for it and i gave up. But aunt recommended my mother this ‘celup inai’ and it suit for a lazy ass girl like me. All you need to do is celup your fingers in. I tried on my toes and the colour turn out to be orange! I am one happy girl but hopefully the colour remains even after 24 hours and never get darker.

So thats it, getting this ‘celup inai‘ for my big day usage then. Finally, the fussy BTB got her henna settle. Before this, my mother has been asking me about henna stuffs and i replied, ‘relax ma, still got time. mai kanchiong‘ which ended up in nagging instead. Now she is all quiet because her daughter have make her decision.

Lot of love,

Ms SR