Its been two weeks since we got married and life has been beautiful for me. A day more to my 25th and i am pretty much blessed with all that i truly need.
I didn’t managed to blog a proper post yet due to wife duties. It started right after i changed into my PJ on the Saturday itself. I couldn’t be more blessed to have a husband that help me sweep the whole entire void deck with me alone after the function. We had a memorable staycation and outing together which only lasted 2D1N because he resume work on Monday. So i have been busy doing what i need to and i am always feeling sense of satisfaction whenever my husband ate all the dishes i cook with a smile and a thank you. We managed to visits some of our relatives to show who are new spouse and indirectly to say thank you for being part of our big day. Work resume for me a week after the big day and this lady here cry every single time she got to leave her husband behind for work after her off day. Not once but yeap.
No doubt i am preparing myself mentally that rocks and storms will come anytime but hey, no matter what, i have made my vow to love and care for you as my husband. So no worries my love, i am here through every phase, in shaa Allah!
Shift routines drains me out most of the time. But alhamdulillah, Allah swt has always gave me that extra energy i need to do my responsibilities and care for the husband and family before i finally crash on the bed. Even husband is so understanding and always nag at me for doing whatever i am doing because he dont want to be dependent on me and he don’t want to see me burnt out. Hahah.
Alhamdulillah and thank you Allah swt for allowing me to feel this phase, the wife phase. I never thought i will marry at this age either but i am married and still adjusting. Please guide me through this as i try to give the best for my husband.
For now, i need to rajinkan diri to kick start my house renovation project! Wedding pun lembabs, rumah pun nak perangai lembabs pemalas.
For now, can’t wait for common off days with dearest.
Lots of love
My girls know me best. They knew i will procastinate and i won’t finalise my song list, so they are on it. I failed to finalise it because i gave in to my sleep since it was a transition of afternoon to morning shift today. I just can’t tahan my eyes. But i managed to spend time with my grandfather today, so that is more important to me.
Time is really ticking that fast. Have i feel anything yet? No, not for now but i am already crying for my leave to start soon because i need a break from work especially. Work has been total nonsense and they are taking my awesome colleagues away to another ward and replacing them with the other ward staffs. Plus changing our discipline too to isolation. We don’t even have a say. Welfare at stake. Can someone just study law and be an advocate for nurses please because we truly need one here.
I remembered my mum asking me if i have any intention to study again, my answer, ‘no but if i ever do want to, i have this strong urge to just take law or whatsoever course that can make me be an advocate for nurses so that i can fight for their welfare! But aiya, for now, i just want to burn my kitchen down (cooking i mean)’
Aku kesiankan diri aku ni sekarang especially part pasal kerja. I strongly believe other nurses are feeling the burn out already. Mehhh, life of a nurse in Singapore.
Everyone around me keep saying i am the most lepak BTB ever because some things i still have yet to settle it even when i am down to a week. My girlfriends are turning bridesmaidszilla instead because their friend still thinks she has the whole time in the world.
Screw this and that but hey, i am hoping and praying for a smooth wedding because afterall nikah is simple. The ones that make is complicated is us, humans. I am really praying for the best and have faith in Allah that it will be a smooth event that day. For now, i have one important responsibility before i can focus entirely on wedding, which is work. People’s lives are in my hand so i can’t let wedding get in my mind and way until Wednesday, 4pm or else, i am totally screwed as a human or even as an employee.
Even my future husband is as lepak, how can his future wife not be as lepak too right? But besok lepas kerja, nak kene finalise music list if not kawan aku confirm marah lagi. Bopiannnnnn
I was missing for a week. There goes my plan of updating daily. It was impossible because i always prioritise my hibernation than anything else. Okaylah bedek. More of hibernation after i complete all my other daily necessities.
Life has been good and been busy with work as usual. Supervisor and colleague at work are more excited for me and counting down for me as compared to the Bride herself. Everyone been trying to dig out information about the wedding preparations but girl won’t share it with any Tom Dick or Harry. I will just talk 10-20% and then i will keep quiet. Girl has no time to talk about wedding at work when i have restless patients trying to climb out of bed or patients who are damn fussy and demanding. Endless paperworks and audits everywhere.
I am still in process to settle down with all the wedding preparations. Just booked videographer few days back at a good deal, lesser than marker rate. Booked sound system for $200 since i have no DJ/kompang. So all the songs will be in it. I have made my booking for my staycation finally. I have booked ice-cream too. I have yet to meet my decor & dais to finalise because they are performing their Umrah now. So end of February it shall be. In shaa Allah, it will go smoothly.
As much as i am busy with wedding preparations, my mind and heart are both occupied on the life of a wife later. I am worried about it because mine will start immediately since there is no honeymoon. I should consider thinking of menu(s) to cook for the husband when i am on one week leave and plan on how to deal with cooking/bekal when i am back to shifts especially afternoon to morning transition. I guess that will be a bad combo for me as a wife.
For now, i need to start revising for my course exam. As in soon, not now. Now is to hibernate. Hahaha
Eh susah juga eh nak keep up with the daily entry. Now i am on my off days, i already find it hard. How about when i am working eh? Excuses eh girl but if i ever stop halfway, it means i just love hibernating more, hahah.
Recently, i have been sourcing out for religious classes to kick start myself all over again. I did went for weekly madrasah classes when i was younger and of course it stop halfway when you reach that age. I did went for weekly classes with my cousin when i was taking my degree but when i start work, all became haywire. I blame the shifts routine but honestly, i should blame myself for finding excuses again and again.
So ever since the fact that i know i am getting married to someone soon, i need to brush up on everything. Basic is always important. I am noway near good either and i have a lot of things to learn. So recently my good friend and i have been sourcing out weekly basic classes for an old 25 year old us. Most places are all in the East and over the weekend which is hard for me to commit because my Supervisor won’t allow me to take weekend off so often. So weekday is the best option.
Alhamdulillah, we managed to find a centre that is situated near our place. But we got to find out more about their registration and stuffs since they are by attendance to get the certificate. We aimed to start from bottom and brush up our existing knowledge and slowly go up. I don’t know how far this will go but really, i pray this will bring me far as far as i have already achieved in terms of westernised school in my life. Even if i don’t in the future, i pray it will help me change my current lifestyle into something better so that i will have a balance of both. I don’t want to stay focusing on this Dunya always when i know ultimately i’ll die and face my Creator. Its scary and its time i do something for myself.
In shaa Allah, may Allah swt help my friend and i in finding ourselves back and getting on the right path which we once get on and get off just because of this world pressure.
No humans are perfect, so is relationship. But we humans tend to seek the perfection due to the expectations. Expectations rises due to social media post. Posts on how someone else other half portray their love. Love story of another stranger that you saw online eventually causes dissatifaction or jealousy. That stir of emotions you felt eventually cost you a broken relationship. But little did you know, you’re the actual cause of your own misery over someone else’s happiness.
Before we even think we actually deserve someone way better than the one that is already infront of us, what makes we think that we’re the only amazing person out there for them when actually, there are many other individuals for them to choose too?
This post goes out to you. You, who patiently wait for me every single time i went into my own cave. You, who never fail to tell me that i am worth to be love despite my flaws and my past. You, who loves me more.
Sometimes when i look at you, i ask myself, what did i do to deserve someone like you? Then i realised, Allah knows what i truly need. Allah gift you to me instead of another lady, because in shaa Allah, one day, i’ll complete half of your deen.