121 days

My ‘annual leave’ begins too early for me. My previous post, i remembered clearly i stated how work was already harming my health and i don’t need wedding to kill me instead. Two days back, Allah swt gave me an obstacle to encounter and i had an emergency operation done shortly after going through CT scan on admission day. General anaesthesia get a hold of me and that was the worse nightmare ever. When you are a nurse and you become a patient, you know at the end of the day, you just got to help yourself. I felt so miserable seeing my family member, Fiance and girlfriend so worried for me. But Alhamdulillah, i fought with myself and managed to discharge the following day after struggling through the night.

I am blessed to have so much love from the people around me. Mr Fiance was on his last night and he sacrificed his sleep just to accompany me but of course, i was in the theatre. By the time i reached back to the ward, i was mostly asleep. I knew he was late for work because he could barely let me go. I had no extra energy to even make sure he can reach work on time but i believed he knew what he had to do. My girlfriend came after work and accompanied the drowsy me. My mother told me how much my girlfriend was trying to keep calm and not break down seeing me in that state. I was struggling to even entertained her but of course, i felt bad and i apologised but ended up getting nags instead. Which girlfriend will wipe your tears away, massage your head with medicated oil and also, assist you with your nature call. I was silently crying deep inside because i felt so blessed and touched with her action. She stayed by my side for hours before heading home. No words can describe how glad i am to have her despite not coming from any common background. My parents were so thankful that she was around and i know deep inside, they feel happy that i have a friend like her.

My mother is one protective mother despite myself already 24 this year. I was preparing my mother on the possibilities and when the nurse came up asking me again when was my last meal and drink, i knew i was going for an operation and i told my mother about it but she was in denial. Denial because no doctor actually updated me yet but when the doctor arrived i knew it was what it was. The medical officer was very nice (well probably because the whole world know what was my profession so everything was transparent for me). The last operation i had was in kindergarten. The love of a mother will never go away no matter how old you get.

I was that determined to discharge the following day. I even asked the nurse if they could off the drip because my bladder was always full. Its funny how a nurse was bargaining with another nurse but that nurse was amazing. I managed to get on my feet the following morning and be independent, it felt good to be able to do things myself though the pain from the incision site is the only concern for now. Alhamdulillah, i am back at home recuperating but trying to get permission from my mother if i could attend this course this weekend with my girlfriend which i have applied weeks back. I am determined to go despite the pain and i believe Allah swt will guide and help me because what i am doing is something right and beneficial. I am not someone that going to give up. So i have till tomorrow to talk and get green light from my mother.

Tomorrow marks four more months to my big day. As of now, i shall focus on myself and put wedding preparation aside. I believe there is a reason why all this happen. Probably, i need a break from everything plus Allah swt gave me this because Allah swt know i can handle and overcome it, in shaa Allah.

I am waiting patiently for my wedding card final product. Hopefully that will cheer me up further during this HL.

Till then…

Lots of love,



8 thoughts on “121 days

    • Alhamdulillah, in process of recovering now. In shaa Allah, i will get better as the day goes by. Plus life is full of test too. Lumrah hidup, so kene redha. Thank you for the wishes and dua for my recovery 🙂


    • Hahaha, the standard abdominal pain the go ct scan then ltr the outcome require urgent op cannot delay. I think you know what it is! Heh. I will babe! Thank you! You too take care ya! 😊


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