From the start, the decision to get engaged during that period was because my mother in particular wants it, so that explained the whole process of engagement being quite grand as compared to what i have in mind. There were disagreement between my mother and myself but i gave in because ultimately, if you want happiness is to make your mother happy. What i felt was right was to just have an exchange of rings between two families and thats all but well, its fated otherwise.
Mr Fiance and myself took the leap of faith to get engaged after he got himself his first full-time job after he served his full-time national service (NS). Even though he got his first full time job fast and started during the last few days of his NS days, it wasn’t confirmed he will get the job ultimately because he was still in his probation days. Moreover, knowing the company culture and their probation routine assessment, it will be hard when he get the most hardest Preceptor/Supervisor whom was known to fail most people for their probation. So Mr Fiance main worry was his finance and getting a confirmed stable job. Of course, it was his one and only main worry for the past months since you know, guys with NS and money. It is always a disadvantage for them. I seen Mr Fiance getting stress about finance and his job till he loss his appetite & weight. Reason was because he wants to make me his wife as soon as he can. The only thing i could assure him was it doesn’t have to be him only to secure all this because i am independent too and its a team effort. I have faith in him but it takes time for an individual to secure all these things. It takes time. So there is always me. But of course, a man will always have worries.
I heard too many stories about his work and how his supervisor tekan him. His supervisor extended his probation and something unexpected happened. One day, after prayers, he informed me to recite some prayers and eventually told me that his supervisor passed on unexpectedly. Thats when another real challenge comes in, nobody took over the ex-supervisor place to guide and assess him. So Mr Fiance start to find other job but there wasn’t any reply. Months on, he persevered till his last week of probation with his drawings and all. Alhamdulillah, Allah gifted him this job. Thats when i see Mr Fiance getting his appetite back and starting gyming too. Lesser stress too. I am so happy for him! After nearly 8 to 9 months of uncertainty, Allah answered his prayers.
Ever since then, there was a discussion between Fiance and me in regards to bring the wedding date earlier. Both side parents agreed except me who have 5050 feel about it knowing what kind of career background i am from and what kind of supervisor i have. I managed to talk to both my Bridal and Photographer if it was possible for a switch of date and there was an available slot. However, catering wasn’t but they have another date. So i kept it all on hold to talk to my Supervisor. Nurses, all our AL are pre-planned a year before. Its never a nice thing anyway. Nurses, most of the time, our welfare are taken lightly. Knowing what kind of supervisor i have, i know i am just going to just end up getting screwed but of course, i did try anyway despite knowing the outcome. I don’t mind not having a proper AL but i could make do with my marriage leave which is entitled to me as a staff. However, as soon as i opened up the topic nicely, i just got screwed left right top bottom diagonal. True enough, she didn’t even allow me to use my marriage leave at all. Best part was she only allowed myself to take only one day off for the wedding date itself. Speaking of which, it totally reminds me of the time i keep going in and out of her office to get approval for my no pay leave to further my studies in year 2012. Despite the course being full-time, she refused to let me out and insisted that i worked & studied at the same time. I kept quiet till the day i started school and showed her my timetable, only then she approved my NPL and best part, because of her, i need to meet up with my ADN. So, the same scenario happened again. She refused to grant me my marriage leave nor even a 3 days off. I totally see this coming from an individual like her. Not helping that she still can say screwed things in regards to my other colleagues in front of me.
So i know after that my mother who was really pinning hope of having the whole event earlier during her preferred month will end up unhappy at me. True enough, we had disagreements via phone and i broke down at work because i just made my mother unhappy. I felt bad for Mr Fiance side so i made my way to his place after work yesterday to apologise and explained everything. Thankfully, i had an understanding future in-laws. Plus, Alhamdulillah my mother did not sulk for long either and agreed to my plans.
So i am back to my original plan and i named this, ‘cobaan orang tunang‘ but i am glad i did what i need to. As much as i find nursing is really lacking of welfare for its own workers, i am glad nursing is not what or who i am marrying for life.
Alhamdulillah, for the rezeki Allah has given Mr Fiance and for our future. May Allah always guide us through every obstacle towards achieving something great. I felt bad for his side but good things are worth the wait right? I hope whatever i did was right. At least, i know if i had the chance, i will end up marrying by this year but Allah is still indeed the best planner of all.
On the same day i got scolding and rejected by my supervisor, on the same day itself, i got my preferred decor & dais vendor with just a very small deposit. That Uncle went, ‘adik, ingat pesan ni. Nak kahwin, makan masa 2 tahun atau satu setengah tahun untuk persiapannya tetapi it can just take you a snap like tearing down the dais to destroy your marriage’.
May Allah ease all our affairs towards building a mosque with our other half, in shaa Allah.
Lots of love,
Ms SR ❤️